Thursday, May 24, 2012

Why I'm a Father

Or, I could call it Why I'm a Fater, taking a page from my son, whose Mother's Day card said "Happy Moter's Day".  Made it himself, in case you couldn't tell.  Maybe I'll get the same deleted "h" next month.

Anyway, continuing my theme of exploring my self descriptives, today's choice is why I'm a father.  Of course there's the obvious that I got my wife pregnant, but since that was the goal, and we live a time and place where not getting pregnant is fairly routine, there's more to it than the biology.

I've probably put less thought into becoming a father than I did with the the other things on my descriptions.  Only being a pain in the ass has engendered less thought.  That just comes naturally.

For as long as I can remember I always presumed I'd be a father at some point.  It was more a matter of when than whether.  My father much preferred being around kids to being around adults, appropriate enough for someone in elementary education, but I never had such an affinity for kids.  When I was one I certainly enjoyed it, though like most I wanted more autonomy. 

It certainly hasn't been my experience of kids since I was an adult.  Most kids are irritating to me.  They're too often untrained.  No adult has ever taught them any kind of self control.  They run around in places they shouldn't.  They scream and holler to get their way with weak will parents who bend and break.  Or worse, they ignore what their parents say without consequence. 

I suppose the biological imperative of passing on the genes is a good reason but wanting to have my own kids who don't behave like so many of those I've experienced is a good reason, too.  I think I've been successful at that, too.  Not that my kids are any paragons.  They need frequent reminders of things they should remember on their own.  They need reminding about behavior every now and then, too.   But on the whole they behave in a way I'm happy to say is appropriate for their surroundings, whether informal or formal.  When it's time to play, they're on that.  When it's time to sit quietly, they're able to do that, too.

So there's one of my contributions to society.  Two people who know how to behave appropriately and civilly in society.  Yea me.  Now if I can get them out of school and into jobs, we'll be all set.

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